Heart Pains

No matter what I always come back to the vent.The vent is within me. I vent to my own soul because I doubt anyone else would ever understand.I'm stuck on Big K.R.I.T just because he speaks so much truth in his music.He has a song called "Free My Soul" and that's how I feel.If I do get all this great material stuff will I be sorry in the end? Are the people who have it now that are sorry that they have it? Will they be sorry they have it when it's all over and done? I feel like crying, this week has been such a smack in the face.I feel like reality of the state of life as we know it has been exposed. Man being uplifted before God instead of bowing down in humbleness before the one who created him.I was almost the victim of the enemy's deception.When I realized how easily I was deceived it troubled my soul.Overwhelming fear and sorrow flooded my heart,I was raised believing in Christ.I don't wanna be wrong.I've seen instances where I thought he left me but then I understood.Sometimes people make bad choices on there own that cost them their lives,and break the hearts of the loved ones that clutch them like the precious jewel that they are.Sometimes people get tired of suffering and it breaks God's heart so bad he says enough.He says "I can see that this child loves me more than anything.I'm tired of their infirmities bringing them so much suffering.I give them my peace.Let them rest now."I think that's what God told my cousin Pooh..Rest Now...you been working hard to tell these people about me and to serve me.Pooh did a great job worshiping God but the problem is....he never went outside the church house. No need in having a God-given talent if you can't draw the ones who need him.I thank God he sent me to Virginia State University I pray he uses me til I don't have nothin' left .If I've done this thing to the best of my abilities,one day,one sweet day, I'll get to see uncle Bernie,Pooh,and Aunt Brenda again.